Words are phenomenal.  What they can do just blows my mind.  We can communicate with each other, we can learn, we can be entertained by stories, we can tell jokes, we can write love letters, we can encourage people, support people, debate, discuss, argue, write, read, talk etc.

Where would we be without words?   Well, I guess we’d be cavemen again.  No Netflix people!

How carefully do you use words?  Both spoken aloud and in your head?  Are they all positive and happy words or are they critical, judgemental and negative?  Do you automatically see the negative in situations or do you see the wonder of the world?

One word

I read a great exercise this week which was to use the word ‘choose’ instead of words like ‘should/need/must’ and it was quite surprising what a difference it made.

• I should do yoga. I choose to do yoga.
• I must work on my blog.  I choose to work on my blog.
• I have to do some study.  I choose to learn exciting new things.
• I need to catch up with xxx.  I choose to organise a catch up with xxx because it will be fun.
• I should vacuum.  I choose to vacuum because the floor feels fantastic afterwards.
• I should have an alcohol free day.  I choose to have an alcohol free day because it makes me feel great (and I get to write it on my whiteboard)

Just this one small word can make such a huge difference to how we approach things we are doing.  It feels lighter and calmer and easier and less pressure.  It feels like we have more control over the situation and our lives.

So if this one small word can make such a difference, imagine the difference you could make changing more and more negative words in your head and in your speech into more positive ones.  It literally could change your life.

Hope-less words

I’m reviewing all the beliefs in my head to change my world around and become who I am meant to be.  It’s quite a difficult process requiring constant awareness and practice.  But saying “I am bad with technology” is pretty tough to deal with.  It would be so much easier to give up and go back to doing something I know.  No wonder it took me so long to finally start this blog.  Swapping it with “I am learning to use technology and getting better every day” is so much more inspiring and gives me belief in what I am doing.  And doesn’t make it feel like a nearly impossible slog.  Same with telling myself constantly:

• I can’t write  (says who!!!! – swap it with I am getting better every day from lots of practice)
• I don’t know what I’m doing  (swap it with I am learning so much every day)
• This is never going to work  ( I have the skills and capability to do this.  What if it does work?)
• It’s too much hard work  (I CAN do hard work.  I am persistent.)
• I’m too slow  (I’m improving every day)
• Everyone else is better at it than me  (I’m learning and getting better every day)

Pretty hard to succeed under those conditions.  So let’s gently and gradually change all our inner programming to be more positive.  What truly awful things do you tell yourself over and over again every day about not being good enough?

External words

Following a course with Dr Happy (Tim Sharpe at The Happiness Institute) I’ve also been trialling giving up the constant bombardment of negativity and bad news in the press.  I’ve stopped watching the news on TV, reading newspapers (even online) and TV shows on free to air with never ending nasty marketing aimed at making us feel we aren’t good enough without their product or service.  There is the argument that it will mean I am ignorant to world events and have no idea what’s going on in the world.  But it’s turned out, if something important has happened, I will find out about it via talking to friends or Facebook.  People are more than happy to fill you in on things and give you their opinion.  So I am not missing out.  I am not at a loss to have conversations with people because I am missing current events.  I am only missing negative current events because that’s all that is in the news.  Look at the recent US Election for example.  I know the end result but what value could the lead up add to my life?  How would it make me feel good?  There were people so sad and angry and disillusioned – but focussing on it doesn’t change it.  They were frightened and miserable every day and in reality for the majority of Australians, it isn’t going to change their day to day to life.  Yes it is likely to have a negative impact for many Americans, but let’s focus on that when the issues arise.  How is worrying about something so out of our control, for weeks on end, going to help our mental health?  Let it go….  As my life coaching trainer Sandy Forster says ‘go on a media diet’.  Surround yourself with positive books and feel good stories and inspirational people/movies/words.  It will make life so much more pleasant every day.

Be kind to your beautiful mind.  Treat it with love and care and respect and nourishment.  Fuel it with positive words internally and externally.  What have you go to lose?

Be kind to yourself.

Wx