This is my biggest struggle.  I LOVE a few drinks.  But I really don’t like feeling dusty the next day.

I love laughing with friends and fabulous food and amazing wine.  Or a few cheeky G&Ts.  Or a special scotch or some beautiful cocktails.  I adore champagne.  BUT I have so much fun I forget to stop.  FOMO (fear of missing out) gets me every time.  It seems to be fine to have another one or two.  And these always end up leaving me feeling anxious the next day as well as having a lack of energy to eat properly or do any of things that make me feel fabulous like exercise and learning.  And I can’t relax because I feel I am wasting time.  I love a bit of a relax as a reward for hard work.  Not a reward for too much drinking – that just brings on the guilt.

However when I am being too healthy I eventually get bored with my own company.  But that said it’s been a big week of partying this week (loved every second), Bob Downe Sydney Harbour cruise on Monday night, hangover and Netflix on Tuesday, couple of very large G&Ts and fabulous conversations Wednesday, lunch /cuppa /drinks /dinner catchups all in the one day (plus a drink on the way home with my Uber driver?????!!!!!!) on Thursday and then a very long lunch Friday finishing with a Baileys.  I guess there has been a huge improvement for me compared to other years because there was nothing even close to throwing up.  But it still makes me question how to get a balance.  Is it about increased self respect and self esteem?  If I am incredibly happy being me do I not need to ‘escape’ with alcohol?  Can I have just as much fun without it?  I have found I do have fun but it never seems quite as silly, entertaining and amusing without it.

So that leads me to this week’s challenge.  Starting yesterday I am not going to drink this week, I am going to do yoga every day and I am going to do a 15min silent meditation every day.  That will definitely put me back on track.  Let’s just test it out and see how it goes with no pressure.  (Update:  Saturday felt amazing, best day I’ve had in ages, so productive and learnt so much and my reward was going to bed early with the latest Jack Reacher novel – what a guilty pleasure).

How you do you feel with your fun/naughty vs good sides?  Do you have a good balance?  Do you feel a balance is even possible?  Maybe it’s part of the life long journeying process to become the best we can be.  And we need to be reminded to enjoy the journey (again) as well as the destination.  Maybe there is no destination.  Maybe it’s part of life.  Trying to have it all when we could be more focussed on just doing more of whatever it is that makes us feel good.  Maybe just some self awareness is the key.  And maybe if we rested more, and put less pressure on ourselves, we wouldn’t feel the need to ‘escape’.  We could just learn to be.  Less expectations, less focus on the destination and more curiosity about absolutely everything.

Be kind to yourself.

Wx