2017 has started as a year of soul searching for me.  I’ve had time to ponder and reflect which has expanded my self awareness.  And what has become increasingly important to me is growing my self worth.  Unless we really believe in ourselves I think we struggle to make big changes or do things to make our lives better.  Without really solid self worth I believe we don’t think we deserve better, or we aren’t worth better, so we settle for what is and don’t chase our dreams.  We don’t think highly enough of ourselves to try something new.  We don’t believe we will succeed so we don’t get out of our comfort zone.  I know I spent over a decade not giving anything new a go – just keeping things the same so I felt safe and secure.

Below are my priorities for 2017 (which I am referring to as experiments) to help me become the best I can be.  To give me confidence to continue on my journey to a new career, new purpose and new life in many ways.  I think confidence is the key to so many things.  And our mindset and our beliefs about ourselves.  What messages do we tell ourselves every day about what we can and can’t do?  What messages of encouragement and support do we feed our minds with constantly?  What insecurities do we have that bring out the worst behaviour in us?  Is it our insecurities that make us needy, controlling, jealous, judgemental and lonely?  Is there a way to fix these?  Or lessen their impact?  Are we able to grow our self worth?

I want to try.  So I’ve focussed over the last couple of months thinking about when I feel good about myself and when I don’t feel good about myself.  And it appears that maybe trying to make myself feel good more often seems a good place to start.

So here are the things I’m experimenting with this year to see if they make a difference.  I’m embracing these with curiosity, not with a win or fail mentality.  Because no matter what the outcome, I will have learnt something.  And that’s always a win.

1. Self worth and relationships

You can see the full post on this one here.  But basically this means not hooking up with men just because I’m lonely.  Not getting into complicated situations with men who are unemotionally unavailable, married or because I am drunk.  Putting intimacy on a level where it matters.  Being worthy of something fabulous and acting accordingly.  (No drunken kissing of young Uber drivers!!!!).

2. Self worth and alcohol

So in my post on party animal vs health nut I really wondered about how to be who I am/who I want to be.  What do I really stand for?  I want to be fun and have a great time but I don’t want the anxiety inducing hangover days.  Nor doing things while drunk I may regret later.  So I think I’ve found a nice compromise.  Only 3 drinks for any outing.  Or half a bottle – mostly the same thing.  So I can go out to dinner with a friend and share a bottle of wine.  That’s still social and fun.  It’s still a little silly but it means a better sleep and it means I’m 100% healthy and ready to do so much the next day.  It nearly feels like it gives me my life back because I’m not missing out on days.

3. Self Worth and friends

I am reading everywhere right now about mindset being the sum of the 5 people you are spending the most time with.  Are they positive and encouraging and supportive and available?  I’m experimenting with not chasing people anymore.  I’m not being my habitual self which was the rescuer.  We are all fabulous and no one needs me to rescue them.  I guess that was the ‘role’ I always played in life.  It made me feel needed.  I am going to have more confidence in people and their amazingness.   They don’t need me to rescue them.  I want friendships to be about support, encouragement, fun, positivity, growth and both of us wanting to put in an effort.  I am not responsible for other people’s happiness.  I am responsible for MY happiness.

4. Self worth and my comfort zone

Over time as we do something that scares us we gain confidence.  We gain more belief in what we are capable of achieving.  So I want to continue to push this and increase my confidence that I am prepared to give most things a go.  Without feeling too terrified to act.  To acknowledge fear and focus on curiosity instead.  To have experiments and see what happens.  To not be scared of not being perfect (because no human being is and no human being ever will be).  To not expect to be an expert in the beginning.  To know that age can bring wisdom if we allow it.  To know that we are enough just how we are.  And we can become more of what we want with small tiny bold actions.

How is your self worth?  Do you have dreams?  Do you have the confidence to work towards your dreams? What, if anything, holds you back?  How do we become the best versions of ourselves?  It’s so fascinating.

Be kind to yourself.

Wx