It’s so easy to get caught in the ‘I shoulds’. I know I am doing it in the mornings about getting up and doing yoga. I am slowly trying to update my language to bring more ease and joy into my life.
What is the difference between I should and I want?
- I should get up in the morning and do yoga
- I should own a big house to show the world I am successful
- I should own an expensive car because it means I matter
- I should have a morning routine because the gurus say so
- I should be an entrepreneur because it’s the done thing these days
- I should be investing and adding extra to my super
- I should be taking fabulous photos for Instagram to show everyone how amazing my life is
- I should be making a difference
- I should be exercising until it hurts
- I should be meditating even if I don’t like it
- I should be donating money to a worthy cause
- I should be helping more people
- I should continue rescuing negative/difficult/struggling people in my life because I can
Should doesn’t feel good does it? So what if we changed should to be I want:
- I want to get up in the morning and do yoga because it makes me feel great for the rest of the day and reminds me to practice self acceptance
- I want to adore and feel grateful for my home
- I want to feel my home reflects who I am
- I want to feel safe and comfortable getting everywhere I need to go
- I want to set up my day to suit me
- I want to love what I do as much as possible
- I want to feel safe and secure financially
- I want to create happy memories
- I want to do something that lights me up and makes my heart sing
- I want to feel fit and healthy
- I want to slowly learn to meditate in whatever way is best for me
- I want to help a cause in some way because it’s important to me
- I want to be full of love and allow myself to be a human being – making me a role model for others to be themselves
- I want to hang out with the people that encourage me and love me and make me feel fabulous about myself and get excited about the future
How does ‘want’ feel? What if we changed our language from should to want? What if we even thought about why we believed we ‘should’ do things? Are our shoulds about us being us or are they about other people’s beliefs that have been passed on to us? Are they are about comparison and judgement? Would it bring more easy and joy just to be however we want to be?
And if ‘want’ isn’t your cup of tea, what about:
- I would like to…
- It might be nice to…
- I could…
- I choose to…
- I am excited about…
- I’m going to try…
- Let’s experiment with…
- I’m curious to…
- I’m interested in…
- I’m fascinated by…
- …sounds fun!
- I can…
- I enjoy…
- I rock at…
- I will…
- …feeds my soul
Any language that feels like you have more choice. Rather than being forced into something. We all have a choice (even if sometimes it doesn’t feel that way). And the more you feel good, the more you feel good! Obvious but true. Could minimising the ‘shoulds’ in your life make you feel better? Enjoy the little things a little more? Make life a little more pleasant? The ripple effect – more happiness doing one thing has a flow on effect to the other areas of your life.
Be kind to yourself.
Wx
