Both my August goals are now ticked off – its 9 August.  Both things scared me.  I didn’t want to do either.  I felt sick beforehand.  I felt scared, nervous, pathetic, a fraud, out of my league, a little stupid for trying – all the things we go through, which is totally normal, when we are outside of our comfort zone.

And then they were done.  And what was that like?  The first one took me a while to process.  It took a couple of days to really appreciate what I had done.  I just felt like it was something lots of people do and not that important.  And that I could’ve been better.  But finally it sunk in and I felt so proud of myself.  Did some strutting around the lounge room on my own.  Smiled at myself.  Allowed myself to really feel the joy that came from pushing myself a little out of my boundaries/ limits / self imposed beliefs.

The second one I actually felt I did better than expected.  I didn’t think I would do as well as I would.  So incredibly proud straight away.  And it’s just the most uplifting feeling.  I am feeling more and more every day that just maybe anything is actually possible.  Maybe it’s not just words on the paper.  Maybe it’s not just about other people.  Maybe it’s honestly true that we are so much more than we ever believe about ourselves.

Tips

• Pick a date
• Don’t think about it
• Be busy beforehand
• Do it with someone else where possible, or commit to someone else so you can’t get out of it (I’m finding this one of the biggest bonuses for people doing coaching with me)
• Don’t compare your beginner self to anyone else doing it
• Don’t beat your beginner self up for not being the best yet
• Remember it will get better with practice
• What is the worst that can happen? And the worst isn’t the end of the world is it?  And what’s the likelihood of the worst even happening?
• Really and truly pat yourself on the back when it’s done. Feel the pride, the achievement and the amazement that you did something that scared you.  Celebrate it.  Don’t down play it.  Make it big.  You did it – you deserve a celebration.  Train your brain to know that every time it does something scary it gets a wonderful feel good reward afterwards.  This will help your motivation to want to do the next thing.
• Allow yourself to feel awesome.  Choose to only see the good in what you have done.  Give yourself permission to feel great.  Why focus on the bits that weren’t exactly how you wanted? Why not really enjoy the positives?  Really feel the joy that you gave it a go?  Really feel how brave you were for pushing the limits of your current boundaries? Really get excited about what this could mean for a happier future?  For a better version of you?

And I think this is another huge key.  I just had the most amazing coaching session with someone.  The goal she picked for herself was to feel in love.  And she wasn’t talking about finding a romantic relationship.  She was talking about the feelings that come with being madly in love – joy, bliss, positivity, everything looking beautiful, negative things washing over you, feeling alive, full of energy, that anything is possible.  And the more we talked through the coaching model to discover what it would be like once she achieved her goal and ALL the benefits even I was insanely excited and wanted to have it as my goal too.  And as she said, happiness is contagious.  We all want more.  Her point is that you can CHOOSE to feel a certain way.  And yes it’s much easier said than done.  But with practice you can bring a tiny bit more believable positivity to anything.  You don’t have to Pollyanna it and pretend it’s perfect.  Just find one small thing to make it FEEL a little better to you.  The more practice with this the easier it becomes.  Then you find something even more positive in each situation.  Until finally you are madly in love with the world.  And you notice a gorgeous car, a beautiful sunset, the smell of fresh flowers or mown grass.  So choose to fall in love with the miracle all around us.

Do things that make you feel good.  For me they are things that challenge me and get me out of my comfort zone (which I never imagined in a million years – I thought ‘other successful’ people did things like that – turns out the rest of us can too).  They might be something else for you.  The beach, water, drawing, singing – whatever it is that lights you up.

My next goal?  Getting my life coaching certification in September now I’ve finished training and I’ve done 65 hours of practice.  Am I the best coach in the world?  Of course not, I’m new.  There is always going to be so much to learn.  One doesn’t become Tony Robbins over night!!!!  But I do make a difference and I do make people feel better about themselves.  I do help.  I do matter.  I do help people to see there is always something you can do to increase your happiness.  To do things you didn’t think you could.  And that is the biggest honour I could possibly have.  I feel so grateful that people put their faith and trust in me to be vulnerable and scared and do it anyway.  And I think they are amazing for showing up and for caring to make their life a little (or a lot) more than it is today.   And after that for me?  Jumping out of a plane in December.  It seems too far away so I might have to find some more big scary huge goals so I stay on a high feeling like a hero!!!!!

When was the last time you felt like a hero and you were incredibly happy and proud of yourself?  Felt really chuffed?  Go on, do something, try something – it’s going to make you feel all kinds of wonderful.

Be kind to yourself.

Wxx