It feels like I stumbled at the end of 2019. I left things to the last minute and then got sick and couldn’t do anything I was planning on busting a gut to make happen. I couldn’t get goals for the year finished. I also couldn’t get my head into a space to finalise my 2020 goals. The things I am meant to be the ‘expert’ in, the ‘life coach’ – how can I tell myself I am a brilliant coach if I can’t achieve my goals? And with these hanging over my head I went to my in-laws for Christmas which is pretty much my idea of heaven. And yet it took nearly a week to relax. I didn’t feel anywhere near the joy that I felt last year. It was the kayaking and getting outside and catching a yabbie (something this city dweller never imagined) that finally was the tipping point into happiness. And then half a week later came home and thought I was relaxed but instantly started worrying the first morning I woke up about all the things I needed to do and how ‘behind’ I was. Queue stressing out and creating issues with my partner when we are meant to be blissfully Xmas holidays happy in our new home.
So while he was sorting out a few of his things the next night I finally decided to look at how ‘terrible’ I was with my goals in 2019. Seriously, I wonder why our heads tell us such bad stories. Why do we immediately go for the bad news when we don’t know the full picture? So I count them and 13.75 out of 20 are done? Oh yes it’s a total full scale disaster. Talk about catastrophizing a situation. The reality? This is awesome. I did all these things I wouldn’t have done without the list. When I went to put the last couple of entries on my whiteboard and start a new one for 2020 I remembered that I had run a marathon, been to Date with Destiny, finished couples counselling, had the most chilled/loved up holiday ever in Port Douglas with Robin as well as all the other things. And it felt good to be reminded. Progress is progress. It’s not about perfection. And is a speed required for where we are going? What makes us feel good? What is acceptable and not acceptable? What deserves a pat on the back and a little moment of celebration versus beating ourselves up? Isn’t every win, a win? If it’s not a win, is it automatically a loss?
When I look at the things on the list that I did, compared to the things I didn’t, a big key lesson sticks out. The things I did had dates attached to them. The things I didn’t do had no date, no huge why and no plan. The biggest lesson I will take into 2020 is to put a date next to every goal. And to get a plan if it needs time to complete. Put some steps together. And pretty much be Nike – just do it. Don’t think about it. Make a start in some way shape or form. And keep going.
And the truth is that I also did 2 extra huge goals. I did 6 months of morning pages (I maybe missed one week max) and I moved house. They weren’t on the list. And they were big. So that’s makes my score for the year 15.75 out of 20. And that, I think, is bloody fantastic.
Now that I’ve reflected from a place of looking for the good, instead of seeing apparent failures, I feel so much better. From the successful and happy people I have been studying it appears they all have failures. I never have failures and I think that’s because I generally play it too safe. So I’m even taking this perceived failure as a win. Finally I pushed too hard and didn’t quite complete everything. This is great. And imagine what it means as I head into my 50th birthday. I believe it means the best decade of my life is coming and it’s only going to get better every year.
What’s on your list for 2020? What will life look like at the end of 2020 that would make you really happy and proud of yourself? That would make you feel good? If you want a hand writing goals check out my post here for tips and I’m going to be doing a 3 week webinar series on how to get yourself an exciting goals list for 2020 that is achievable, fun, something you actually want to do and that will make you look back on 2020 with joy and satisfaction. How does that sound? Monday nights Sydney time 9.00pm starting Monday 13 January. Cost? A $25 donation to the Rural Fire Service
Account Name: NSW Rural Fire Service
Bank: Westpac BSB: 032-001 Account No: 171051
To request a receipt please email your name, date of deposit, amount and address to dgr@rfs.nsw.gov.au.
What do you get? You get 3 x 30 minute group coaching sessions, you make a donation to RFS which helps them, makes you feel good and makes me feel good, you get to give me more experience in helping as many people as possible have a wonderful 2020 and I guarantee, get some goals that will excite you and that you can complete. What have you got to lose? Start your new decade on the right foot, this year is yours, take it and make it the wonderful you deserve. Get your first tick for 2020 just by making a donation and emailing me at wendy@nofearfrom here – I’ll send you the link and you’re in. Too easy.
You are amazing. Be kind to yourself.
Wxx
