You can be amazing and be single!

No it’s not a lie just to make you feel better.  It’s a fact.  There are people out there proving it every single day.  Surely you know incredible people that are single?  And you don’t think any less of them?  It’s more a matter of timing.  Surely it feels right to wait for something great rather than just settle?  And surely it feels right to end a relationship that isn’t good for you?  These are brave decisions.  The people doing these things are courageous and strong and they are the ones that are going to have wonderful lives because they are willing to do what it takes for greatness.  They are prepared to accept that possibly some loneliness is better than a lifetime of regret or wondering if there was someone better out there for them.  If you are one of these people, don’t look down on yourself and think you are less worthy than people in relationships.  You should be so proud and shouting it from the rooftops.  I am proud of you.  This is hard to do.  But it’s the right thing to do.  For your wonderful deserving worthy self.  You deserve big love.  We all deserve a truly great relationship.

What if someone told you that in 2 years time to this day, your perfect dream partner would arrive?  What would you do for the next 2 years?  Well, I hate to state the bleeding obvious, by why not just do all those things then?

My reasons that make it super to be single are:

1. Many people in partnerships aren’t any happier than you
2. You get a chance to dream of big beautiful love
3. You have more freedom for career decisions, where to live, what movies to watch and where to go on holidays
4. Interior design all your way
5. The excitement of dating
6. It feels awful to be lonely when you are actually with someone
7. You have more time – for cultivating friendships, for learning new things, for sorting through your baggage, to become your best self for the amazing relationship coming to you
8. Leftovers!

I can’t stress this enough.  You are enough.  You are worthy.  You are deserving. You are a wonderful human being.

What if you absolutely adored your life as it is?  What if you didn’t feel that life would be better with that someone special?  Imagine living your perfect life now and then finding love – how much would that blow your mind.  I don’t buy into the idea of someone completing you.  You are already complete.  You are enough.  You are bloody fabulous.  You are already the moist delicious perfect cake, and you can work on yourself to be the icing as well, so a partner might just be the cherry on top.  Everyone loves and adores cake!!!!! And icing is just a huge bonus.  But my point is, cake is enough!

I just watched a great interview with Matthew Hussey and Lewis Howes on 5 reasons to love being single.

Matt is all about how to get into relationships and stay in relationships – I could say he’s a relationship expert but he doesn’t like to be called that, he just likes giving very practical advice.  And Lewis is the School of Greatness and interviews incredible people on his podcast – so inspiring.  I love his stuff.  (And it’s only just occurred to me how funny it is that a last name of Hussey is teaching women how to attract men….but I digress).

Matt’s top 5:

1. Get really good at something (when will you have this much time again – singing, dancing, musical instrument, another language)
2. Spontaneous socialising (easier to say yes last minute when you aren’t home with your partner)
3. Go somewhere new in your city/surrounds and explore for a day or a weekend
4. Take risks to tell people you find them attractive (great practice and who knows what they might say back)
5. Make rejection your friend
6. Be a morning person (you aren’t meeting the fit healthy people ready for a great conversation at 4am)

Lewis’ top 5:

1. Do things you loved but gave up in your last relationship
2. More time to date yourself and learn to love yourself (practice going solo to movies, dinner, coffee etc and get comfortable in your own skin)
3. Focus on your health
4. Surround yourself with friends and family you love
5. Reconnect to your vision both personally and professionally

“You don’t get into a relationship by being a miserable single”   Matt

“You attract people when you are living your best life”  Lewis

Be you.  Don’t be someone looking.  Love every single second for all the magical stuff now.  Life isn’t always greener on the other side.  Appreciate your lawn right now and take advantage of all the things on this side of the fence.

Is this post just me really talking to myself?  Yes it probably is.  But does that matter?  We’re all in this wild adventure called life together and I wanted to remind all my single comrades too – you do rock!!!

And if you are interested in some support to work out how to be your best self, please check out my coaching page.  I would love to be a part of your journey to even more fabulous.

Be kind to yourself.

Wx