Why would someone choose sacrifice?  It sounds desperate.  Like you don’t have a choice.  That there is scarcity instead of abundance in the world.  That we can’t have it all.  But, by jove, I think I’ve got the point.  I’ve changed my perspective.  I have learnt something this month.  Sacrifice is part of the road to having it all.

Is sacrifice as bad as we think it is?  Or is it just our imagination making it into something worse than it is?  Is it just a part of us trying to stop ourselves from getting out of our comfort zone and create something better in our lives?  Is no sacrifice actually the same as giving in to our fears?  In my case big things never happened because I had such a deep embedded concrete belief that ‘I can’t’.  And honestly I thought that about nearly everything.  Everything except what I was doing.  I can’t be a morning person.  I can’t leave my job.  I can’t be a morning person. I can’t write.  I can’t find a great relationship.  I can’t be vulnerable with people.  I can’t rely on people.

I’ve done what I consider to be a lot of sacrificing over the last couple of years.  Sacrificing holidays and saying yes to get all my bad debt paid off in 2 years.  Sacrificing a good paying job to start again and work on something that I might be passionate about.  Sacrificing lazy Sundays of fabulous food being cooked for me because I wanted to be open to the possibility of falling in love.  Sacrificing TV.  Sacrificing weekend excursions to study.

And this last month there has been heaps – I decided to hibernate in April (mostly because I just wanted to really focus and feel I was moving forward and probably more importantly because I was running out of cash).  So I decided no going out, no alcohol and I could only spend $10 a day.  Sure I was still out walking, I was still texting, I was still doing phone calls (and I had one prearranged family lunch).  I wasn’t a total loner.

Oddly the things that would’ve seemed liked a huge embarrassment years ago are now making me laugh.  I’ve gone from earning 6 figures to buying toilet paper taking me over budget!  I’ve run out of garbage bags so I’m sometimes actually getting a plastic bag at the supermarket to use, I’ve run out of my favourite expensive organic earl grey tea, so I’m just having green tea in the mornings instead.  And it just doesn’t bother me in the slightest. I don’t even have a slight skerrick of feeling like I’ve failed.  It’s just another really interesting experiment in life that I am curious about.

And I’ve fasted on Fridays. Just 2 small juices.  Another thing I believed I couldn’t do.  And that hasn’t been easy.  But also makes me realise that eating so often is out of habit or comfort.  Not because we are hungry.  So sitting with the discomfort and thinking about what is coming up for me has given me so much more faith in myself to deal with what happens in life.  To have more certainty within myself when the world is always such an uncertain place.  Yet I’ve always tried to make everything certain – I was taught growing up to focus firstly on safety and security.  And yet I think these things don’t really exist.  You can’t plan everything and plan your life – there are too many unexpected moments and events and changes.  There are no guarantees.  Feeling certain to me seems to be an inside job now.  A certainty you will be ok no matter what.

And here’s the thing.  It doesn’t ‘feel’ bad to me.  It feels exciting and uplifting.  It has meant reaching some amazing goals.  It has given me new faith and confidence in myself and what I can do.  There is absolutely no negative feeling from my sacrifice.  There is only satisfaction, fulfilment, growth and even some pride.  And I guess that also means I like me more.  And that is hugely motivating because the more you like yourself, the more you want to look after yourself.  The better the life you want.  It’s a totally uplifting cycle.

To me sacrifice is now a privilege.  I am lucky to have learnt from it. I am grateful for how much it is changing my life because it is helping me to improve what I think in my head.

Sacrifice now equals being able to achieve more than I ever thought possible.

Sacrifice now equals happy and proud and confident!!!!

Sacrifice now equals faith and trust in myself and the universe.

HERE’S THE LOWDOWN ON APRIL

“We really only seem to grow and progress by overcoming hardship”

Sarah Wilson

Is the key to a good life a little work?

Here is what I did in April:

• Every day walk
• Every day yoga
• Every day meditation
• Every day inspiring podcast or documentary
• Most days writing
• No alcohol
• $10 a day spending limit
• Cooking all 3 meals at home
• Cold water only at the end of my shower
• Once a week fast for the day (2 small juices only)
• Getting out of my comfort zone (launching my coaching business, screaming while crashing through a wall of water for a photo shoot with Alex Weltlinger, sending job applications)

What was good:

• I feel amazing
• I’ve lost weight and fit into all my clothes
• I have so much gratitude for all the amazing things in my life
• I ate a lot more legumes and a lot less meat, not necessarily good or bad, and I didn’t miss meat
• Somehow I managed to eat mostly organic (thank you farmers markets)
• My perspective has changed in so many ways
• I am so much more positive
• There are amazing things to do for free in the city (art gallery, parks, exhibitions)
• People are so lovely and kind – I received presents in the mail this month which was the best feeling
• I actually felt quite happy most of the time. I felt that everything was working out for me.  I enjoyed the challenge.

What was not so good:

• It was quite hard work and required a lot of focus and determination. Easy is not a word I would use to describe the month.
• It was lonely at times.
• Lots and lots of organisation and pre planning was required.
• I got sick of making decisions about food and doing all the cleaning up – 3 meals a day every day.
• For some reason on the very last day, 30 April, I got really sad. Maybe it was the build up from the whole month.  I didn’t feel like celebrating – I just felt really tired.  And I missed my Mum.  Maybe that’s part of accepting the change.  Part of letting new things into your personality.  Part of growth and change and it’s going to be a bit unsettling at times.  I watched more inspiring stuff and felt better by the evening.

The learnings:

• Do it.  Change something big time in your life.  You will be amazed at how it changes your ideas about yourself and the world.
• You can do things you imagined you never could.
• You are capable of so much more than you think.
• Just give things a go: you are likely to be surprised by what you can achieve.
• Questioning your beliefs can be absolutely life changing.
• New opportunities might open up.
• Working on increasing your feelings of joy brings you more joy.
• You think you are tired and want to do nothing, but actually doing things anyway makes you feel a billion times better about yourself and the world.
• Embarrassingly I didn’t really miss people.
• The luxury of having every day to do whatever I wanted was such a gift.
• I didn’t really miss anything.
• It made me stupidly excited about my first takeaway meal this week – fish and greek salad (when normally I wouldn’t have thought anything about it).
• My first avocado in weeks was divine last night.
• Huge huge appreciation for everything in my life.

Be kind to yourself.

Wx