ON YOU.

I am fascinated about how we can get to pretty much 50 and there is sooooooo much we don’t know about ourselves. So many questions we can’t answer about ourselves. So many situations we haven’t experienced to know how we respond.

Coming back from holidays and so many questions came up for me. Why I reacted to things the way I did and what I wanted to do in future for those situations. Who do I want to be.

I didnt like being in places where everyone was backpackers or a silver nomad. I didnt want to be those people. I didnt feel like I belonged. I felt trapped, controlled. One of my biggest issues. I’e been obsessed with travelling but not looking like a backpacker. Why does it matter? What does it mean? What’s the issue in my mind? Will people treat me differently? Does it matter? Does everyone have to like me? Do I think backpackers are cheap and selfish? Hmmm maybe I do. Do I need to get away from people to feel relaxed? Why not find out more about people? I find people endlessly fascinating – well the ones that are interested in growth and learning and change and the world.

And I am very much aware that I have listened to experts. So after reading Quiet by Susan Cain about introverts I have just been in acceptance mode that I am a certain way and that’s just how it is. Totally victim mode which is not who I want to be anymore. I have worked so hard to let go of lessons growing up, especially from parents. To change careers, invest in my mindset instead of a house and go against what I was taught. And yet here I am again listening to experts. I don’t have to accept who I am. I can choose to be whoever I want to be. I can choose how I spent my energy. I can choose how I think. I can choose my beliefs, my feelings and my thoughts. Why not choose something more in line with who I want to be?

What about you? How well do you know yourself? Are you being who you want to be?

Be kind to yourself.

Wxx