I waited patiently in line for 1 hour 20mins. The first 30 mins in the same queue as boyfriend. But I realised we were voting in different electorates and went to the other line as I didn’t want to get stuck finally getting to the front of the line only to be told to go to the back of another line. Besides the one I went to was shorter. Another 30 mins later he had voted and came to stand in line with me. My short queue was a much slower one.

Another 20 minutes pass and I finally get in to vote. Yippee! But apparently I was in the wrong queue. I needed to go to another queue. It was a really short line so I was fine with that. However 5 minutes later it still hadn’t moved. This was going to take a LONG time.

So here’s the thing. One of the biggest things in my life is feeling I have control. My mother had VERY limited control – she lived her life mostly based on what my Dad wanted. And he wasn’t that nice. So I’ve set up my whole life to never feel someone else controls my life. To never feel trapped without options. Without being able to live my life on my terms. Elections rub me up the wrong way because it feels like the only thing in my life I am told I HAVE to do. I don’t have a choice. Sure we need to work but I can choose when, where and with whom. Yes I have to pay to live somewhere but that is also my choice – where and therefore cost. So being in a situation where I feel forced to do something makes me feel sick. Kind of like a claustrophobic feeling. Stuck and frightening.

I kept trying to remind myself that I’m incredibly lucky to live in a country where I can vote, where I can vote safely and where I can be fairly confident votes are being recorded properly. And it was good that most of the queue was in the shade and I got an instragram post sorted out. A couple of wins. I tried really hard to be grateful.

But this wasn’t enough. I was hot and stinky from running 10km. I had lost control. This queue was going to take another hour minimum. I didn’t think the government deserved another hour of my time. I had already waited long enough. I had done my time. I had been in the slowest queue already. It felt wrong holding up boyfriend when it wasn’t his fault. So I did a dummy spit and stormed out. I decided paying the fine was the best option. Another hour of my time wasted on a gorgeous Saturday is well worth $150. I did some swearing and nearly crying and this was quite entertaining and embarrassing because I knew people there… they were surprisingly kind.

Then 2 very lucky things happened. Firstly the hugest thanks to the best boyfriend ever, Mr Fitzgerald, he calmed me down, reminded me how much better it would feel once it was done, how much easier the day ahead would be when it wasn’t weighing me down, gave me heaps of examples of things we could use that $150 for instead and then pretty much bribed me with champagne and awesome food. I haven’t ever managed to let someone help me in the past so this was a gigantic step for me. And I am so happy with myself for letting him help me. It saved the weekend. He came and stood in the line with me, held my hand and kept telling me what I good thing I was doing. Secondly, the girl in the new queue in front of me had the same thing happen to her. Then someone else got moved to the front of the line because they had already queued elsewhere. She found the nice electorate officer and calmly explained the situation and he moved us to the front. I was ecstatic. I was actually going to vote and get this crossed off my list. To whoever you are, you are my lifesaver, and I am incredibly grateful.

So what’s this got to do with democracy sausage? All day Friday I had managed to get myself inspired to vote by picking a place that had awesome bbq food to eat (and it was a fundraiser for the local school so a double win). We ended up going out to breakfast with other people so I wasn’t hungry. I decided a fundraising cake at the end of voting would be a great reward. But then none of the cakes were very exciting. However I saw they had local merchandise. I really really needed a new cap – I’ve been looking for about a year. Suddenly I had found it. Great price, supporting the local school and exactly what I wanted – interesting design and even a red heart. Will work with everything. So for a long post, say hi to my new “learnt a lot about myself today” democracy cap!!!! You just never know in what situations you will learn lessons about yourself and get an unexpected bonus.

What were the lessons? A crap day in the past which would’ve ruined my whole day and possibly my whole weekend can be salvaged. I don’t need to be the most stubborn person on earth. I am so lucky to have had the support, be able to let go, be reminded to be grateful and move on with weekend fun. Everything I did after that felt like a bonus, instead of being ruined. It’s time to stop cutting off my nose to spite my face. Happy happy lessons in unexpected places everyone.

Be kind to yourself.

Wxxx